Freewrite Friday: A Clean Slate

It’s 1:20am as I am writing this, and I am feeling a ton of energies at the moment. I am feeling tired and groggy, yet motivated, excited, and electric at the same time. The reason for this is because I revived my 1 year old Dayre account and I reread all of the stories I put out there. I started to draw inspiration from this and I found the urge to write again. So this is what this post is about. It’s basically me getting all of this energy out of me and into my blog in its most raw form.

Anyways, I’ve been going through a funk during my post grad journey so far where I am glad I have a day job, but I still feel stuck and unfulfilled. I feel like I went through a transition, but did not finish with a follow through, kind of like a butterfly that hatched a few seconds too early. Please let me know if there is an official word for this feeling.

I just got news that I will be working increased hours during this holiday season, and while reading that email, something clicked in my head that I do not want to pursue this 9-5 retail-corporate-tech-business-sales kind of industry anymore. My ultimate dream is to be my own boss and write blog posts and reviews for companies to help them with marketing and to provide a service to people who are seeking information. I want to be a photographer, stylist, blogger, youtuber, singer, dancer, musician, etc. I want to be an artist in this digital age. I wish there was a professional name for this career that is not tied with the “starving artist” stigma. 

 

I thought I was done with this awkward post grad transition period, but I guess it’s an ongoing process. I thought I have accepted that this transition can take months, sometimes years, until you find your dream career. I guess I’m still in denial. I thought my life journey was half over after graduating from college, but I’ve found out it hasn’t even begun.

 

I’m truly scared, and I can’t admit that to myself. At least not during this crucial time in my life where I am truly on a clean slate.

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